revealing a new crush

So, we're eating lunch with Motha! and Husband's dad, Mack. Motha! is telling us all about the American Idols Live Tour that she went to last weekend at a new venue in our hometown.

Mack: "So, is that new place getting a lot of good concerts?"

Motha!: "Yeah, the Eagles opened it, and then American Idols Live, and--"

Me: "Isn't the So You Think You Can Dance tour coming there?"

Motha!: "Yes, in October. And Carrie Underwood is coming next month!"

Me: "Oooooh! Tickets! Get tickets!"

Motha!: "I was thinking about it, actually."

Me: "If you get them, get me one! I want to go."

Husband: "Would these be, ummm, front row tickets? Right up close? Where we can see her?"

Motha!: "Why? Why are you so interested in going, HMMMM?"

Mack: "Those sound like some good seats."

Husband: "She's a good singer."

Motha!: "You can hear her JUST FINE from further back."

Me: "Ummm, you can hear her just fine ON THE RADIO."

living your vows

I have this teeny little problem when I drive. I tend to scream (loudly) at other drivers when they do inappropriate things like cut me off, swerve into my lane, or leave their blinker on. Unfortunately, I can't keep myself from doing this even when I am on the phone, and I tend to interrupt myself (and others) with my commentary.

"So, today, my students discussed this essay that talked how-- HEY BUDDY, AM I BOTHERING YOU? I WAS JUST OVER HERE DRIVING IN BETWEEN THE LINES, BUT DON'T LET ME BOTHER YOU WHILST YOU TRY OUT YOUR NEW DRIVING OVER THE LINES TECHNIQUE!"

What's the big deal, right?

This particular habit is really annoying to Husband, so annoying that he has enacted a ban on talking to me while I am driving. Which I was doing this afternoon when he called me. THUS:

"Hi! You called me back!"

"Yeah, I got your message."

"Baaaaaabe, I always have to leave you a sweet message to PROVE that I called since you always say your phone didn't say that I called."

"Yeah, didn't see that one coming."

"So, I'm on my way home."

"You're driving?"

"Yes."

"Gotta go."

"Babe, no! I can do better, I promise! I bet I can go this entire conversation without screaming at other drivers."

"I doubt it."

"Babe, you vowed, 'in sickness and in health.'"

"Yes, this is your sickness."

oh my word this just happened in Target I am not even kidding

So, we're in Target and I need to buy some baby whipes because the vet said I should be cleaning the puppy in between baths. (I know, right? HIGH MAINTENANCE. ) (Like her mommy.) Off we go to the baby section, and we've just turned onto the aisle when Husband starts to act like he's about to break into hives.

"I'm having an anxiety attack."

"Because of the baby aisle? Come on."

"Seriously."

[chuckles deviously] "You mean this doesn't make you excited about having children? Look at these diaper bags. They're so cute! [picks one up and models it] Do you like this one? I promise that we'll get a not-so-girly diaper bag so you won't feel silly carrying it. Do you want to look at this one?"

[HUSBAND'S EYES WIDEN UNTIL IT SEEMS THEY WILL INVOLUNTARILY LEAVE SOCKETS]

"AWWWW! Look at these little baby baths! Can you WAIT until you get to give your child its first bath? Seriously, if that doesn't bring a tear to your eye, you are made of stone."

"We HAVE to get out of here NOW."

"Ok, fine. [Spots aisle of baby clothes.] ONESIES! HOW CUTE!"

[HAS VIOLENT COUGHING FIT]

java

The most important part of my morning ritual is coffee. It may be a bit cliche for a graduate student in literature, but I drink A LOT of coffee. On weekends, I drink two or three cups whilst lounging around. One weekdays, I take it with me to get me through early morning teaching.

The responsibility for brewing the morning coffee has fluctuated between Husband and I in the two years we've been married. For the first year and half (if not more), Husband always made the coffee. Even when I had to get up and leave much earlier than he did, I would get out of the shower and shout "COFFEE?!?!" and he would [bless him] drag himself into the kitchen and make the magic juice that makes his wife shut up and leave him alone. Well, some time this summer, I started making the coffee instead because I (usually) take Jaci out first thing in the morning to go to the bathroom. [So when I said the responsibility fluctuated, I meant that he has always done it and I am finally pulling some weight around here.]

Well, this morning, I stumbled into the kitchen to get the pot going, and THE COFFEE WAS MISSING. WHERE IS THE COFFEE? Suddenly wide awake, I went back into the bedroom (where Husband was still sleeping) and shouted "WHERE IS THE COFFEE!?!". Used to this kind of fit, Husband calmly informed me that our stock is completely gone.

"We have no coffee?"

"No. I noticed that yesterday"

"Why didn't you tell me that last night?"

"I forgot."

"Well, I GUESS I will just go without since you didn't TELL me we don't have any and I DIDN'T BUILD TIME INTO MY MORNING TO MAKE A STARBUCKS RUN."


I really take setbacks so well.


Later in the afternoon, during Daily Phone Call, Husband complained that he wasn't feeling well:

"My body hates me."

"Awww, I'm sorry. What doesn't feel right?"

"I have a really horrible headache."

"Maybe you need to drink more water?"

"Or maybe its because you didn't make me any coffee this morning."

spoiled rotten

Our dog, Jaci, takes her role as Princess of the Universe quite seriously. We brought her home about three months ago, and not a moment has passed that she has not taken the opportunity to remind us exactly WHO is running our house now. When she wants something, she will look you dead in the face, DARING you to deny her, and bark these yippy little princess barks, unleashing the full force of the spaniel eyes until you have totally forgotten what you were doing and are making yourself crazy trying to anticipate her every need. What is it, little princess? Bathroom? Food? Treat? Complete devotion of my time and energy?

Because we are suckers, the dog has been sleeping in bed with us since we got her. This, I feel, is where the diva in her truly comes out. I always imagined I'd someday have a dog that would curl up lovingly at my feet, but to do so would be to admit that we are the parents and she is the child, so JACI sleeps WITH HER HEAD ON MY PILLOW. The first time she crawled up next to me and laid her head next to mine, I almost fell off the bed from laughing so hard. She positions herself between Greg and I to achieve maximum attention from both of us. No matter how close together we are laying, she will wedge herself between us. Because why be loved by one parent when there are two available?

Husband is going to kill me for posting this picture, but one night when I came home really late and he was already in bed, this is what I found.

There are no words.

some will appreciate this more than others

In college, Husband and I were both in the Christian college equivalent of Greek houses. His "fraternity," Chi Lambda Phi, and my "sorority," Gamma Rho, were a big part of our social lives and really part of the reason that we met in the first place.

There is something you should know about Husband's brotherhood, Chi. They are incredibly..... proud of themselves. Now, they have good reason to feel that way, as they win everything and generally attract the best guys (and the hottest girlfriends, of course). Still, this is part of their reputation. The good thing about these guys is that they know their reputation and they can laugh at it. And those of us who know the guys personally know that, as Husband puts it, they just can't help being AWESOME.

One of the things that Chi always wins is Spring Sing, the yearly show at our school that involves each club singing and dancing around like manic idiots for 6 minutes at a time. These white, Church of Christ boys are somehow magically gifted with the ability to dance, flip, and sing as a unit. Even when I wanted to kill them all for beating Gamma a bazillion years in a row, I still got little goosebumps watching them. I always felt like these were my boys.

WELL, flash forward to our trip to DC last week. [PLEASE KEEP IN MIND WE GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE TWO YEARS AGO.] We had just finished watching the changing of the gaurd at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington National Cemetery. This ceremony, if you haven't seen it, is amazing. These soldiers perform this intricate series of marching, saluting, and arms presentation in the sweltering heat that makes saps like me tear up.

As we were walking down the hill right after the ceremony, I observed:

"That was incredible. It was like a dance, so sychronized and exact and perfectly executed."

To which Husband replied,

"Like a Chi Spring Sing show!"


Totally the same, right?

he should really think about the potential of his actions to end up on the Internet

On one of the last nights of our vacation, Husband and I were absolutely exhausted. After four days of walking around in the heat, we couldn't do much more. We decided to go back to our hotel around 4:00 and rest a little bit before dinner. Once we'd taken off our shoes, changed into more comfortable clothes, and settled into bed, we started channel surfing and landed on HBO. HBO is one of those luxuries that we only enjoy in hotels because I am too cheap to pay for anything more than basic cable. During vacation, we watched a LOT of movies on HBO.

This particular late afternoon, with the sun slanting behind the DC skyline, I had control of the remote. When I came across The Devil Wears Prada on HBO, I thought I would see how long I could watch it before Husband started wrestling me for the controller. To my GREAT surprise, Husband was absolutely ENTHRALLED by Meryl Streep and the fabulous clothes in this movie. WE WATCHED OVER AN HOUR OF THIS MOVIE with not a peep from him. Finally, around 6:30, I was getting really hungry.

"Babe, I'm really starving."

"But we're watching this movie."

"Ummmm, yes. I'm actually really surprised that we are still watching this movie."

"Really? Why?"

"Well, it doesn't strike me as your kind of movie."

"Babe, its FASHION." [THAT IS A DIRECT QUOTE.]

"I see."

"Well, what happens to her?" [The movie had reached the moment where the main character has to decide if she will continue in her horrible job in hopes of getting ahead or be true to herself.]

"You're concerned about how this movie ends?"

"What does she DO!?"

"Well.... are you sure you want me to tell you? You don't want to watch the rest of it later?"

"If we're going to eat, you have to tell me."

So, barely stifling my laughter, I told Husband how the movie ended. He seemed satisfied with the ending, so we could finally go eat.

As we were walking to dinner, I decided not to let this little incident go without comment.

"Babe, don't worry, if you really want to watch the ending of the movie, I have it at home. We can watch it when we get home."

"What movie?"

"The one we were just watching."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"The movie you were just dying to know the ending of. THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA."

"I've never heard of that movie before."

"So we're gonna play it that way, huh?"

"You can't prove a thing."

"I've got one word for you, sucker. BLOG."