endless source of material

So, we're eating out tonight, and we have a particularly colorful waiter. He first dazzled us with a fascinating story about how he fell asleep after watching some friends play football and woke up 5 MINUTES before his shift started. 5 MINUTES! HILARIOUS!

As he walks away, I start to laugh about how crazy this guy is, when Husband says, "Give him a break. He's an over share-er, like you."

Now, this is totally true. I am infected with the need to overshare. I tell random store clerks and Starbucks baristas my life story, and Husband's as well when he is with me. Pharmicists generally get to enjoy my ENTIRE health history when I pick up my perscriptions. People at church know way too much about our marraige. STILL, comparing me to this guy was just too much.

Later, as he is clearing our plates, Waiter asks if we managed to save any room for dessert.

"No," I say. "We're totally full."

Waiter: "Yeah, I am always trying to sell desserts, but it never happens."

Me: "Well, we're Americans. We overeat."

Waiter: "Yeah, then we all join gyms. Owning a gym must be the easiest job! People always join, but never go."

Me: "Except for this guy." [gesturing to Husband] "He just lost 50 pounds."


[HE HE.]


Waiter: "Yeah, really? That's awesome! I tried to do that once. I kept it off for a while, but then I gained it all back. Not right away, but like over a few years........ [insert 5 minutes of rambling and some weird sound effects mimicking the sound of jiggling fat]. So, that's awesome about your weight loss, man! How did you do it? Exercise? Just getting off your rump?"

Husband: "Yep."

Waiter: "That's awesome!"

So, he leaves with the plates and we are struggling to keep straight faces. I was really proud of Husband for managing to hold it together, considering the bomb I dropped on him. But then Waiter returns with the check.

"Well man, congratulations on your weight loss. That might just inspire me to lose 50 pounds myself!".

Husband smiles until the guy is out of earshot, then says, "This means you will finally write on the blog!"