birthday lunch

"Babe, now that its your birthday, we've entered that part of the year when you are two years older than me. Now I get to brag about bagging an older man, and you can talk about your trophy wife."

"Babe, you are not a trophy! You are my equal."

[whines] "Baaaaaabe! I'm not your trophy wife?!?"

"You are seriously two different people. You are one person with me, and a completely different person with everyone else, especially in your profession."

"Well, of course I'm different with you. My relationship with you is totally different than my position in relation to all other men."

"Ha! See? I didn't want to spend 15 minutes of my 45-minute lunch listening to a barrage of feminism."

"Awwww! So you DO think I'm a trophy wife; you just didn't want to offend me?"

"Duh."

"HOORAY!"

he gets it!

I am a big fan of a book called The Five Love Languages. The book argues that different people show love in different ways. For example, you might show love by spending quality time with someone, giving gifts, or through physical touch. If you're me, you show love through words; if you're Husband, you show love through acts of service. Usually, the way that you naturally show love is also the way that someone can make you feel most loved.

Different love languages mean that people feel loved in different ways. The most amazing example of this was the time when Husband told me that when he loads his dirty plate after dinner (an act of service), he does it to show me he loves me. To me (words girl), loading your plate is just what you do when you get a plate dirty. So, I have to work hard to try to do acts of service for him (and recognize when he does them for me), and he tries to use words to show love to me.

These kinds of discussions about love languages can crop up in the strangest moments. Over the fourth of July weekend, Husband and I went to see the film Public Enemies. In the movie, Johnny Depp plays a bank robber who falls in love with a French girl who checks coats at a night club. The first night they spend together, he gives her a beautiful fur coat. As I'm totally mesmerized by the movie, Husband leans over and whispers in my ear, "I think his love language must be giving gifts."