revealing a new crush

So, we're eating lunch with Motha! and Husband's dad, Mack. Motha! is telling us all about the American Idols Live Tour that she went to last weekend at a new venue in our hometown.

Mack: "So, is that new place getting a lot of good concerts?"

Motha!: "Yeah, the Eagles opened it, and then American Idols Live, and--"

Me: "Isn't the So You Think You Can Dance tour coming there?"

Motha!: "Yes, in October. And Carrie Underwood is coming next month!"

Me: "Oooooh! Tickets! Get tickets!"

Motha!: "I was thinking about it, actually."

Me: "If you get them, get me one! I want to go."

Husband: "Would these be, ummm, front row tickets? Right up close? Where we can see her?"

Motha!: "Why? Why are you so interested in going, HMMMM?"

Mack: "Those sound like some good seats."

Husband: "She's a good singer."

Motha!: "You can hear her JUST FINE from further back."

Me: "Ummm, you can hear her just fine ON THE RADIO."

living your vows

I have this teeny little problem when I drive. I tend to scream (loudly) at other drivers when they do inappropriate things like cut me off, swerve into my lane, or leave their blinker on. Unfortunately, I can't keep myself from doing this even when I am on the phone, and I tend to interrupt myself (and others) with my commentary.

"So, today, my students discussed this essay that talked how-- HEY BUDDY, AM I BOTHERING YOU? I WAS JUST OVER HERE DRIVING IN BETWEEN THE LINES, BUT DON'T LET ME BOTHER YOU WHILST YOU TRY OUT YOUR NEW DRIVING OVER THE LINES TECHNIQUE!"

What's the big deal, right?

This particular habit is really annoying to Husband, so annoying that he has enacted a ban on talking to me while I am driving. Which I was doing this afternoon when he called me. THUS:

"Hi! You called me back!"

"Yeah, I got your message."

"Baaaaaabe, I always have to leave you a sweet message to PROVE that I called since you always say your phone didn't say that I called."

"Yeah, didn't see that one coming."

"So, I'm on my way home."

"You're driving?"

"Yes."

"Gotta go."

"Babe, no! I can do better, I promise! I bet I can go this entire conversation without screaming at other drivers."

"I doubt it."

"Babe, you vowed, 'in sickness and in health.'"

"Yes, this is your sickness."

oh my word this just happened in Target I am not even kidding

So, we're in Target and I need to buy some baby whipes because the vet said I should be cleaning the puppy in between baths. (I know, right? HIGH MAINTENANCE. ) (Like her mommy.) Off we go to the baby section, and we've just turned onto the aisle when Husband starts to act like he's about to break into hives.

"I'm having an anxiety attack."

"Because of the baby aisle? Come on."

"Seriously."

[chuckles deviously] "You mean this doesn't make you excited about having children? Look at these diaper bags. They're so cute! [picks one up and models it] Do you like this one? I promise that we'll get a not-so-girly diaper bag so you won't feel silly carrying it. Do you want to look at this one?"

[HUSBAND'S EYES WIDEN UNTIL IT SEEMS THEY WILL INVOLUNTARILY LEAVE SOCKETS]

"AWWWW! Look at these little baby baths! Can you WAIT until you get to give your child its first bath? Seriously, if that doesn't bring a tear to your eye, you are made of stone."

"We HAVE to get out of here NOW."

"Ok, fine. [Spots aisle of baby clothes.] ONESIES! HOW CUTE!"

[HAS VIOLENT COUGHING FIT]

java

The most important part of my morning ritual is coffee. It may be a bit cliche for a graduate student in literature, but I drink A LOT of coffee. On weekends, I drink two or three cups whilst lounging around. One weekdays, I take it with me to get me through early morning teaching.

The responsibility for brewing the morning coffee has fluctuated between Husband and I in the two years we've been married. For the first year and half (if not more), Husband always made the coffee. Even when I had to get up and leave much earlier than he did, I would get out of the shower and shout "COFFEE?!?!" and he would [bless him] drag himself into the kitchen and make the magic juice that makes his wife shut up and leave him alone. Well, some time this summer, I started making the coffee instead because I (usually) take Jaci out first thing in the morning to go to the bathroom. [So when I said the responsibility fluctuated, I meant that he has always done it and I am finally pulling some weight around here.]

Well, this morning, I stumbled into the kitchen to get the pot going, and THE COFFEE WAS MISSING. WHERE IS THE COFFEE? Suddenly wide awake, I went back into the bedroom (where Husband was still sleeping) and shouted "WHERE IS THE COFFEE!?!". Used to this kind of fit, Husband calmly informed me that our stock is completely gone.

"We have no coffee?"

"No. I noticed that yesterday"

"Why didn't you tell me that last night?"

"I forgot."

"Well, I GUESS I will just go without since you didn't TELL me we don't have any and I DIDN'T BUILD TIME INTO MY MORNING TO MAKE A STARBUCKS RUN."


I really take setbacks so well.


Later in the afternoon, during Daily Phone Call, Husband complained that he wasn't feeling well:

"My body hates me."

"Awww, I'm sorry. What doesn't feel right?"

"I have a really horrible headache."

"Maybe you need to drink more water?"

"Or maybe its because you didn't make me any coffee this morning."

spoiled rotten

Our dog, Jaci, takes her role as Princess of the Universe quite seriously. We brought her home about three months ago, and not a moment has passed that she has not taken the opportunity to remind us exactly WHO is running our house now. When she wants something, she will look you dead in the face, DARING you to deny her, and bark these yippy little princess barks, unleashing the full force of the spaniel eyes until you have totally forgotten what you were doing and are making yourself crazy trying to anticipate her every need. What is it, little princess? Bathroom? Food? Treat? Complete devotion of my time and energy?

Because we are suckers, the dog has been sleeping in bed with us since we got her. This, I feel, is where the diva in her truly comes out. I always imagined I'd someday have a dog that would curl up lovingly at my feet, but to do so would be to admit that we are the parents and she is the child, so JACI sleeps WITH HER HEAD ON MY PILLOW. The first time she crawled up next to me and laid her head next to mine, I almost fell off the bed from laughing so hard. She positions herself between Greg and I to achieve maximum attention from both of us. No matter how close together we are laying, she will wedge herself between us. Because why be loved by one parent when there are two available?

Husband is going to kill me for posting this picture, but one night when I came home really late and he was already in bed, this is what I found.

There are no words.