Pillows, a follow up

"Husband, I want my pillow back. You stole it, and I want it back."

"You gave it to me."

"No, I didn't give it to you. YOU STOLE IT. You KNEW my neck hurt when you tried to give me your pillow. That is MY pillow. MINE. Motha! bought it for me right before I left for college. She and I bought it. TOGETHER. So, not only are you stealing neck comfort from me, you are also stealing A MEMORY."

"You gave it to me."

"I DID NOT. I realized one night that my neck hurt, and that you had taken my pillow. I made you give the pillow back, but you only stole it from me again. This happened again and again, the stealing and the reclaiming and the complaining and the stealing and the whining, and despite my best efforts to annoy you into leaving me alone, YOU KEPT STEALING MY PILLOW. Finally, out of sheer exhaustion, I just stopped making you give it back. I gave up. You wore me down to my last shred of dignity."

"Right. You gave it to me."

not exactly taking one for the team

Husband and I really hate going to the grocery store. Its just a pain. In fact, I don't know anyone who actually likes going to the grocery store. Anyone? Seriously? Does anyone like it?

Because of our intense dislike of shopping for groceries (which makes sense for me because I just hate shopping in general, but Husband? The cover model? He who shops for fun? What's up with that?), we usually put it off until the last minute. For us, the last minute is late Sunday night after our Life Group. So, a few nights ago, we found ourselves, once again, trudging to the grocery store.

Sometimes we use the "divide and conquer" method to get ourselves out of there more quickly; Husband will gather his lunch-packing essentials while I take care of produce and dinner items. Well, Sunday night at the last minute I realized that I needed an avacado to serve with our tortilla soup.

"Will you run back and grab an avacado?"

"I don't know how to pick one."

"Really? Its really easy. I'll teach you. You just gently---"

"I'm sorry. What I meant was 'I don't want to'."

you don't find honesty like this everywhere

"Will you get the gum out?"

"Sure. Here you go."

"I meant get the gum out for you."

"What?"

"Your breath is gross."

[Silence.]

"Husband, you are SO lucky God gave you such a pretty face."

"I know. I think He gave it to me for our marriage. To help me survive."